Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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