So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
