another moral hangover. fuck.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
