I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
