I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
worst night to have a conscience
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
