I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
