this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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