I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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