they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
