I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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