Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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