Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
