i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
