Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
