it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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