She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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