Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
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He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
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I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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