help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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