just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
40s are totally the cure
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
