from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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