those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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