Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
