giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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