roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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