he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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