I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
