YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
