i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
youre lurking in front of me
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
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i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
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had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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