I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
