Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
