Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(903): View more from Texas

And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either

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(850): View more from Florida

So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.

(850): View more from Florida

I guess we all know what he was cookin.

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(317): View more from Indiana

my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card

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(770): View more from Georgia

I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.

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(530): View more from California

the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible

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(205): View more from Alabama

I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.

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(303): View more from Colorado

ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or

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(613): View more from Ontario

My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.

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(563): View more from Iowa

You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.

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