U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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