Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
