By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
