I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
