i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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