so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize