apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize