If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
