I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
