I need help removing her.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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