Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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