I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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