You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
