Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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