I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
