remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you inspire me to be a worse person
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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