look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize