I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i've created a new STD.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
