I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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