No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
