I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
