Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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