I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
