We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
