Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
