i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
