Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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