Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+90): View more from Turkey

Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university

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(630): View more from Illinois

Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.

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(425): View more from Washington

I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?

(1-425): View more from Washington

you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time

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(217): View more from Illinois

he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.

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(312): View more from Illinois

But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life

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